Incredible, how time flies.
1. Merry Christmas.
By this time of the year, I have to face a small regret over having never been adequately grateful of the love and support I received from everyone around me. This year it’s a bit more serious because I’ve lost a couple of options I thought I was just within my reach. I am grateful for this time of reflection and regeneration. The veneer of arrogance and complacency which made even the closest of my supporters slip away at times has been removed. I am at ease, just working really hard.
2. Wherever I go, I think I will have tones of fun. London, Paloalto, Durham, Houston, Baltimore, Brunswick, Chicago, New Haven (That’ll be heaven for at least six months though) and on and on…
On a second thought, probably not. But wherever I go, I’ll have all the freedom in the world to live by my life-long hedonistic principles. A thing about Columbia is that despite THE CITY and its amazing reputation, faculty and etc, it doesn’t have that appeal to me. Probably it’s from seeing floppy kids go there, or the expenses, or I don’t know. I mean even for grad school, I am simply obsessed with one school, though I’ll allow myself to be convinced. Meaningless, I guess.
3. I was reminded of an early chapter in Bill Clinton’s autobiography, in which he recalled one of his expositions from high school. Something like him feeling all the contradictory pairs of feelings, feeling as though he is ‘full of contradictions’ and ‘confused’. Also, in one episode of The Daily Show, with Drew Barrymore as guest, Jon Stewart describes her as “…so many contradictions yet full of vitality…” somewhere along the light-bantering about Drew Barrymore’s driving habits. Do many people share these contradictions that fill me up everyday?
Or is it just me?
4. Exhausted, mentally and physically. In my mind I am battling the 철권 monsters named by certain schools and is actually stuck in this deceptively uncomfortable single sofa in my room. I am getting sick of trying to come up with ways to fashion myself and is munching on cookies, biscuits, or what other form of excess carbohydrate. All these short supplements are inflating my already unmanageable self-consciousness.
Will be done with all of these and blissfully go back to chasing the ideal me.
India Arie summons the last drop of soul in me with ‘Good Mourning’.
